Im on the injured list...
i hate ASVs. its one of the new line of armored vehicles the Army has so graicusly give us. but because of a 15 pound door Im stuck here on base for seven days.
had to get stiches, in my middle finger.
i made sure to flip sgt nolan my squad leader off when i showed him too.
all he had to do was let me TC (Vehicle Commander) but because im not one of his "d*cksuckas"...

yeah.

and on top of everything i wont be going to sleep anytime soon.
both my roommates are gone so at least it will be peaceful.

On top of everything, when I left to get stiches...

It put a ripple in Darth Nolan's plans
Now Mouse gets to do more than just "sit " for her first and only misson out in the desert. In my squad, in that face.

So that put a smile on my face.

So here I was thinking damn..

All the work I put into getting her ready for the world outside. I was online and she talked to me thanking me for being such a sweet friend for helping when even her leadership treated her invisible.

Middle fingas to the evil...

just when I thought I was useless...

A myspace friend was in need.

ANTONETTE:

i know u dont know me at all but im taking my chances. my husband is one of urs and he just left for iraq. its very difficult ever that i thought!big time!

im just wondering what its like in iraq? do you guys roam around d area? im worried...

at first I thought it was another cam site. but I added her as a friend.

GRIFTER:

Isnt that what myspace is for.
getting to know people from other places.
yeah some people do take it too far.
but they are "stuck on stupid"

Yep its hard. what he needs for u to do right now is not to worry.

Dont watch the news either, it has a habit of making it seem worst than it is from time to time. U will find urself thinking everytime the word "Iraq" is said it involves him, his unit. the desert is huge.

There will also be times when u wont hear from him when u really really want too. Also finding something to keep busy is good too.
Is this ur "first deployment"?
I asked it this way because I feel the family is just as important to the deployment as the soldier.

ANTONETTE:
yes its my firt since we got together so its difficult really for me and a lil confusing

GRIFTER:

he will be busy.
he may not get leave, but u shouldnt let him know ur discouraged by him getting it or not.

its useally like that the first month or two getting in country. belebe me he's probally climbing the walls and moving space and time to get to a phone.

ANTONETTE:

yea he told me its difficult at first actually last time he often got punish 4 overly using the phone he even had to beg for a friend just to let him sneak up and use a satellite phone one time so i do appreciate and acknowledge his effort and all that. after this idk whats his career plans coz maybe he is up 4 another 6yrs and i was like maybe he is also considering a different path aside fr infantry so he said why not but for now he was like just let me do and finish this first.

u know i already lost someone so dear to me once. he got killed by an ied at the "congress turf" (unbelievable huh considering the place) and we were like talking on d phone when it happened. i saw how he was fighting for his life and the feeling it was no words i can put it into its like everything swept away. so now i am not ready or ever will be if something bad happens to my hubby. i dont wanna go through that pain again.

but there is nothing i can do now as you said i need to find myself something to do to keep me busy and u were right about that. its difficult to be an army wife really its harder than being a politician's wife (he was my x that i lost). for now i am not yet fully okay still i cant function normally but with ur help ill be just fine u know sometimes its helpful to hear from someone who has experience who is been there done that u know what i mean coz this whole thing is new to me.

thank you so much really thank u. u take care.

...its amazing.

I had given u on being the advisor after I had to deal with Mouse.

but it made me feel good to let he know things were gonna be alright woth her husband. That my military experience wasnt being "blown off".

I called my mother, today's her B-day. She said my sis is doing well. Even is back working out like she was before the breakdown and all.

October is always "my month"...

...

On goes the time.

As  I get closer to the end of this saga, preparations have to be made.

1. Passport

2. Source of  income (preferably something keeping me in uniform)

The unit is going to try their damnest to keep everyone tied to them, the numbers game. Already records are disappearing, they can't find anything saying I was anywhere before the guard. No Kosovo, no Iraq, no Germany.  It's like losing ur resume the morning of ur new job interview. 

I bet my bosses' sh*t is there,  I wouldn't  have known it  if I didn't go to the training room here. Don't they realize how important that having all the places you've been, the things u have done in the military  is right now....

...seif presevation, time to make new enemies.

Got mercenaries 2.  Went to start the chaos on the game and the 360 won't read it. but I'm gonna fix that bull...

Got bored...antisoccermom thanks for a hand.

Five Xangans you HAVE to read when they post:
1. Ellie
2. Quell
3. Lorelei
4. Adryas
5. Antisoccermom


 Five Xangans you'd make out with:
1. Lorelei
2. Antisoccermom
3. Nieblung
4. Lo
5. Quell



 Five Xangans you'd marry:
1. Quell
2.  Ellie
3. Lotta Valdez
4. Antisoccermom. Because the one who doesnt usually is the best canidate for wifey statis.
5. Lorelei


 Five Xangans you'd want your back in a fight:
1. Shi
2. Adryas
3. Quell
4.  Aleister da
5. Cuteluvr21

Five Xangans you'd write a book with:
1. Shi
2. Lorelei
3. Ellie
4. Alerster da, he's brilliant
5. Quell, plus she would do illustrations


 Five Xangans you'd repopulate a post-apocalyptic earth with: (3 girls and 2 boys, or vice versa if you're a girl)
1. Shi
2. Aleister da
3. Antisoccermom
4. Quell
5. (Damn need more dude xangans!)

(9) Pick five Xangans to give each of these:
1. Your maid of honor/best man speech - Ellie
2. Your eulogy - Adryas
3. Your high school/college commencement speech -  Lotta Valdez
4. A pep talk - Quell & Adryas
5. Advice in a dilemma - Anyone who will listen, I need all the help I can get!!!

From memphis...

It was a happy feeling, My 1st SGT reminded me last nught.

They are having this "support ur team" thing today at the base I'm on. Tha Arkansas Razorbacks are comming he said with his chest out. He asked if I was gonna be there...

...I said "I'm from Memphis". I wasn't upset that nothing dealling with my fav football team is even mentioned. Other than this uniform I wear from day to day I have no tie to them. I got back to a completely different lifestyle. Or at least from the way they talk about what they do back at home with their freetime it sounds like it. There is accually a guy that deer hunts out his back window. "Isnt there like laws against that sh*t!" Before we left to come to the desert I had started traveling around "ol Ark-Kansas. But M-Town is when my heart is, even with the easy life I had while I served in Germany. Every once and a while I missed The village hidden iby the River...

...but our Mayor is still a crook!

angry and diapointed...

At my solidier, he's going though a hard time right now.

Thinks everyone is out to get him, been there before.

I try to advise as I always do, but as always they want to do the "life" thing the hard way.

But the military law is cold and unforgiving...

...and he cant ice skate uphill.

Once again.

They want me to bite my tongue. What happened to Leaders lead, when there were no such things as "my business" or "hatin". Here I sit... they want me to tell them what to do when I got dirty sheets in my closet. I dont want anyone to go through things alone, beleve me its hard. The only way I've survived this long is because I always had my family, close friends. I listen, know how to take "constructive critisim" or getting cursed out.

Well anyway, plans have been made. I will be wearing the uniform a bit longer. I'm gonna teach. I feel my experience, my knowledge I could teach.

The army has needs...

Control...

For the last month I've watched the Unit I'm in so to some of the most outrageous methods.

The distrust is sickening, no loyalty. This is not how the militarey is designed to work. At least not the one I spent the last 12 years of my life serving. 

Arrogance.

I can't do nice things for a female here anymore...

They take advantage, and have a tendance to boast about there standings like its a game to anyone who will listen. Even though u try to treat them as a lady and not a trophy.

I don't try to fit in...

I am not a puppet...

Now the dark time begins.

6 months left...

I still feel like I just got here.

Still feel like this Unit I'm in is suppose to change.

Still feel like the s*it will hit the fan during a mission.

I messed up and had my friends back in Memphis concerned for me, which is why u  must be careful what u write on myspace. I keep from going anywhere due to the lack of communication of my counterparts. More Distrust...

The usual is happening on the socal side however, the itch has become a burn. Everyone is giving in to it now it seems. I had to cover for one of my soldiers last night. He's married and now has admited to a "crush" he has for ol "woodchuck". I figured her out though, see he spends every waking moment in behing her. He even gets pissed when I talk to her the way I do, she comes to me when she wants truth. Now she just has to find a guy with the sex drive of a gorilla. However he is still married! Its only a matter of time and the right call home...

...6 months left.

I get no leave and no time off...

I'm not depressed about it either. I even expected it.

It's like they aren't worried about anything but themselves anyway right now. A solider threatens them, gets an all expence paid trip to the house, via Germany of course. I wish I could have spoken to him before it happened, I know I could have prevented it from happening. Thats my power, I'm a medium through which a lot of people get justice. You would be surprized how talking to the right person helps sometimes.

Another thing I wasn't blind to...our female counterparts.

Its funny, again the fool I've been. Worried about how my actions toward my ladyfriends would do to their psyche. Flattering myself that if I keep my guard and not follow the role of the "typical male" I would show them there is hope...

Even scratch one's itch in a Storage Connex cause she said she had needs and she didn't want to get caught. I was the only one with enough smarts to please her and not "blab".

Now she's ran through an old flame who's married and has started working on one of my roommates...

Oh yeah I'm the only single guy in my room by the way.

But u can't change clueless. They claim they have it handled. But just keep pluckin and f*ckin everything around them and expect no one to judge or comment badly about it. Taking the same action as the girl living in the same room with them but protesting how stupid the other is.

J's issues keep me on edge as well, this guy has his mind made up he will leave his wife. But is this the third or fourth time he's decided that. Oh yeah and Mouse was DATING him this whole time. She has become quite close to a girl that J has his eyes on, she finally came out with the story that she's been his mistress this whole time. But begged me to intervene and tell him they're through. She's been caught with 4 to 5 different guys since we got to Iraq but she's with him...and before that she gave me a shot at the title in the Hampton...

I've decided to stay in my room more for fear of catching Stupid Syndrome.